icon caret-left icon caret-right instagram pinterest linkedin facebook twitter goodreads question-circle facebook circle twitter circle linkedin circle instagram circle goodreads circle pinterest circle

Diane Dreher's Tao of Inner Peace Blog

Time to Plant New Seeds

As we emerge from a long, dark season of Covid lockdown, it's time to pause for a moment of gratitude. Take a deep breath. Look around you to notice the signs of life—new buds and leaves on trees that have been bare all winter, vibrant spring blossoms.

 

Spring is a time to plant new seeds in our gardens and our lives. I've been planting snow peas, watching them climb up stakes with their natural intelligence. In many parts of the country, it's time to plant a new season's vegetables and herbs. Some of my favorite herbs are

 

Rosemary, long believed to improve memory, a natural anti-inflammatory with several health benefits. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/266370.

For a delicious side dish, roast new potatoes with olive oil, salt, pepper, and sprigs of fresh rosemary.

 

Parsley, often used as a garnish, is rich in vitamins. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/284490#diet.

Sprinkle parsley on your foods to add more flavor and vitamins to your meals.

 

Lavender is used in aromatherapy for calmness and peace of mind. People used to put lavender under their pillows to promote a good night's sleep. For the health benefits of lavender, see https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/266370. Their bright violet blossoms could grace the garden of your life this spring. 

 

Whether you're planting herbs or a new season of vegetables, for all of us, it's time to plant new seeds of possibilities.

 

After a year of lockdown, you might feel like getting outside--to exercise, work in your garden, walk around your neighborhood, even hike in a nearby park—while maintaining public health guidelines, including social distancing. Is this a time for you to begin a new exercise practice?

 

After the long dark winter, you could use the energies of spring for a new beginning. What would that look like for you? Would you like to clear away household clutter, refinish a piece of furniture, start a home improvement project, rediscover an old hobby, sign up for a class, or adopt a new kitten or puppy?

 

Take a moment to ask yourself what you feel called to do, then follow your heart. Set a goal, write it down along with steps to your goal. Then take the first step to embrace your own personal renewal this spring.

 

For as the Tao Te Ching tells us:

 

A tree that grows beyond your reach

Springs from a tiny seed.

A building over nine stories high

Begins with a handful of earth.

A journey of a thousand miles

Begins with a single step.

 

I wish you joy in this new season.

Be the first to comment

Regaining the Sense of Oneness

Yin and yang, sea and sky--the beautiful beach at Villa Maria Del Mar in Santa Cruz

The Tao Te Ching tells us:

 

In ages past, people followed the One.

The heavens were bright and clear,

The earth was in balance,

The spirits rejoiced,

The valleys were filled with life,

The ten thousand things flourished,

The leaders were wise,

And people lived in harmony.

All this came from oneness.

                        Tao, Chapter 39

 

This message of oneness echoes throughout the Tao Te Ching, which portrays the earth and sky, darkness and light, yin and yang, our lives and all that we know as part of the larger whole. The sense of oneness is intrinsic to the human condition, appearing in religious traditions throughout the ages (Van Cappellen, & Saroglou, 2012). Our ancestors felt a deep sense of oneness as they gazed in wonder at the stars, shining symbols of aspiration high above them.

 

Have you felt a sense of wonder when you looked at the stars, watched the ocean waves rushing in to shore, or responded to a radiant sunset, symphony, or remarkable work of art? Then you have experienced awe. Psychologists have discovered how the beauty of nature, music, poetry, and art can bring us this transcendent feeling. In what Abraham Maslow (1971) called a "peak experience," this feeling takes us beyond ourselves into an expansive sense of oneness with all creation, changing our lives in profound and meaningful ways (Keltner, & Haidt, 2003).

 

Research has shown that experiencing awe can bring us greater hope. It can improve our health, transform our perception of ourselves and our world, and increase our generosity, trust, and connection to community (Piff et al, 2015).

 

One way to experience greater awe is by appreciating beauty and excellence, one of the character strengths common to humankind (Peterson & Seligman, 2004).

 

Ask yourself where and when you feel this transcendent sense of joy and oneness.

Is it in appreciating the beauty of nature, music, or the work of your favorite artist?

 

You can experience awe more often, experiencing greater hope and connection to the world around you, by pausing to appreciate the daily beauty in your life.

 

References

 

Keltner, D. & Haidt, J. (2003). Approaching awe, a moral, spiritual, and aesthetic emotion. Cognition and Emotion, 17, 297-314; Piff, P. K., Dietze, P., Feinberg, M., Stancato, D. M, & Keltner, D. (2015). Awe, the small self, and prosocial behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 108, 883-899.

 

Maslow, A. H. (1971). The farther reaches of human nature. New York, NY: Viking Books.

 

Peterson, C., & Seligman, M.E.P. (2004). Character strengths and virtues: A handbook and classification. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

 

Piff, P. K., Dietze, P., Feinberg, M., Stancato, D. M, & Keltner, D. (2015). Awe, the small self, and prosocial behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 108, 883-899; Rudd, M., Vohs, K. D., & Aaker, J. (2012). Awe expands people's perception of time, alters decision making, and enhances well-being. Psychological Science, 23, 1130-1136.

 

Van Cappellen, P., & Saroglou, V. (2012). Awe activates religious and spiritual feelings and behavioral intentions. Psychology of Religion and Spirituality, 4, 223-236.

1 Comments
Post a comment

Restoring Our Vitality

The Tao Te Ching tells us:

 

The Tao is the one.

From the one come yin and yang,

Sunlight and shadow,

From these two creative energy,

From energy ten thousand things

The forms of all creation.

                   (Tao, Chapter 42)

 

The Tao Te Ching affirms the power of creative energy, but these days, under the shadows of Covid-19, many of us are feeling emotionally exhausted. Some have called this pandemic fatigue. How can we bring more light and creative energy into our lives? Research has revealed three ways to increase our joy, energy, and vitality.

 

Get Regular Exercise: Research has shown that regular exercise builds vitality and helps relieve feelings of helplessness and depression (Rethorst & Trivedi, 2010).  Choose an exercise practice that works for you.

  • If you already have an exercise practice you enjoy—running, hiking, dancing, working out, tai chi, yoga, or something else—commit to doing this exercise at least three times a week to increase your vitality and stamina. Check out online exercise classes or exercise outdoors, following public health guidelines.
  • If you don't have a regular exercise practice, just walking around your neighborhood is a good way to begin. Just mask up and begin walking. As the Tao reminds us, "the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" (Tao, Chapter 64).

 

Share Positive Events with Others: Research has also revealed that we can increase our vitality by sharing our goals and positive experiences with others (Niemiec, 2018). You can do this virtually by phone call or Zoom link:

  • Spend time with a friend sharing your goals, challenges, and progress.
  • Join a group to work on a cause you believe in.
  • Work with a coach or counselor to overcome roadblocks and develop greater vitality.

 

Spend Time in Nature: Research has shown that just being out in nature can raise our mood, lift our spirits, and increase our vitality (Ryan, Weinstein, et al, 2010).  How can you spend more time in nature?

  • If you enjoy hiking, backpacking, or camping, plan to do this more often, checking out possibilities and observing public health guidelines.
  • If you'd rather stay close to home, mask up and take a walk around your neighborhood or in a nearby park.
  • If you'd rather stay even closer to home, you can spend time gardening, growing flowers or vegetables in your yard or apartment balcony, watching them grow, and enjoying the harvests.

Whatever way you choose, cultivating your relationship with nature world can help restore your vitality and build your hope.

 

I wish you joy on the path.

 

References

 

Rethorst, C. D.& Trivedi, M. H. (2010). Evidence-based recommendation for the prescription of exercise for major depressive disorder. Journal of Psychiatric Practice, 19, 204-212.

 

Niemiec, R. M. (2018). Character strengths interventions: A field guide for practitioners. Boston, MA: Hogrefe Publishing. Discussion on pages 129-130

 

Ryan, R. M., Weinstein, N., Bernstein, J., Brown, K. W., Mistretta, L., & Gagne, M. (2010). Vitalizing effects of being outdoors and in nature. Journal of Environmental Psychology, 30, 159-16; Kaplan, S. (1995). The restorative benefits of nature: Toward an integrated framework. Journal of Environmental Psychology, 15, 169-182.

 

Be the first to comment

The Way of Creativity

Each Spring, these golden daffodils blossom with the creative power of nature. We now know that creativity is essential to life. It's not limited to artists, writers, scientists, and musicians. It's essential to our human nature (Amabile, 1983; Richards 2007). Our  creative capacity enables us to not only survive but thrive, to discover new solutions and shape our individual and collective futures.  Humanistic psychologist Abraham Maslow (1971) saw creativity as an expression of our highest human potential. And in over three decades of research, positive psychologist Mihalyi Csikszentmihaly (1996) has found that when we live creatively, we live more fully, experiencing greater joy and meaning in life.

 

As children, we are all naturally creative, reaching out to explore, learn, and grow (Simonton, 2009). Creative adults retain the openness, curiosity, and mindful awareness of childhood with what psychiatrist Ruth Richards (2007) has called "everyday creativity." They follow their curiosity, try different options, and improvise to discover new possibilities. Research has connected this creative approach to life with greater health, happiness, success, and well-being (Connor, DeYoung, & Silvia, 2016).

 

You can nurture your creativity by making time for your own creative practice--not for any external reason but for yourself, for fun, for the sense of joy and discovery. Do you enjoy drawing, painting, photography, gardening, cooking, wood crafts, knitting, quilting, needlepoint, dancing, playing a musical instrument, or something else. Research has shown that a simple creative practice can relieve stress, depression, and anxiety, strengthen our immune systems and increase our well-being (Kaimal, Ray, & Muniz, 2016).

 

How can you pursue your own creative practice this week? If you already have a creative practice, make time to enjoy it. If you don't have one, then take time to:  

  • Close your eyes now and take a deep, mindful breath. 
  • Recall a creative practice you enjoyed as a child—was it drawing, painting, playing a musical instrument, weaving, making mosaics, or something else?
  • See yourself doing this, remembering how it felt and embrace that feeling now.
  • Feel yourself enjoying the process, playing with color, sound, or form.
  • When you're ready, gently open your eyes, ready to take the next step.

 

This week, I invite you to get back in touch with this feeling by making time for a creative practice you enjoy or rediscovering one you enjoyed in childhood. Take that old guitar out of the closet or buy yourself a box of colored pencils, pens, or paints. Sign up for a class in art, music, cooking, or dance at your local community center. Then explore, be present, enjoy the process and discover where it leads.

 

I wish you joy in the process.

 

References

 

Amabile, T. M. (1983). The social psychology of creativity: A componential conceptualization. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 45 (2), 357-376.

 

Connor, T. S., DeYoung, C. G., & Silvia, P. G. (2016). Everyday creative activity as a path to flourishing. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 13, 181-189.

 

Csikszentmihaly, M. (1996). Creativity: Flow and the psychology of discovery and invention. New York, NY: Harper & Row.

 

Kaimal, G., Ray, K., & Muniz, J. (2016). Reduction of cortisol levels and participants' responses following art making. Art Therapy, 33 (2), 74-80;

 

Maslow, A. H. (1971). The farther reaches of human nature. New York, NY: Viking Books.

 

Richards, R. (2007). Everyday creativity: Our hidden potential. In Richards, R. (Ed.). Everyday creativity: and new views of human nature: psychological, social, and spiritual perspectives (pp. 25-53), Washington, D. C.: American Psychological Association.

 

Simonton, D. K. (2009). Creativity. In C.R. Snyder & S. J. Lopez (Eds.). Oxford handbook of positive psychology. 2nd ed., (pp. 261-269).  New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

 

 

Be the first to comment

Do You Have an Energy Drain in Your Life?

The Tao Te Ching tells us:

 

Lead with the Tao

And negativity has no power.

The energy is not repressed

But redirected

So that it does no harm.

             (Tao, Chapter 60)

 

Have you ever walked into a room and felt the energies of the people there—from a warm welcoming feeling to cold, hostile reception?

 

As the Tao Te Ching affirmed centuries ago and current research in physics and psychology has confirmed, our thoughts, our attitudes, our emotions are all forms of energy, constantly influencing the world around us.

 

As we share the energy fields of the people around us, we're also affected by their actions and attitudes. Spending time with other people means sharing the same atmosphere, breathing the same air, experiencing their energies. Some interactions are energizing. Others deplete us.

 

If someone you know is currently going through a hard time, you can support your friend with compassion. But if this person is chronically anxious or depressed, the kindest thing you can do is to refer them to a therapist who can provide them with the professional help they need.

 

But some people habitually dump their problems on others. Is there someone in your life who constantly drags you down? If you feel exhausted after being together, this person could be an energy drain. Imbalanced, uncentered, and out of touch with their own sources of renewal, such people subsist on energy transfusions from others.

 

Energy drains are immersed in black holes of negativity. Whenever something goes wrong, they run to a strong friend to rescue them, complaining, blaming others, and acting so needy that you may feel guilty saying no. Attaching themselves like barnacles, these people can become increasingly demanding and dependent.

 

Do you have an energy drain in your life? Does being with a particular person leave you exhausted?  Here are some strategies that could help:

 

  • Before you see this person again, take steps to limit the interaction. Set a time limit for your meeting and then keep to it.
  • When you meet with this person, pause and take a deep mindful breath, breathing slowly and deeply into the region of your heart. Research at the HeartMath Institute  has shown that this heart-focused breathing can help return you to a centered, balanced state.
  • If you feel yourself  being drained, say to yourself, "This is not my energy. I am at peace."
  • After seeing this person, you may want to do another short heart-focused breathing exercise. You may want to wash your hands as a ritual of release..
  • You may want to ask yourself  why you've attracted this unhealthy relationship. What is there in you that perpetuates this pattern? Does this remind you of something in your childhood?

 

Take steps to release this negative pattern to create a more positive cycle. You can begin this now with a simple loving kindness meditation.

 

  • Take a deep breath and slowly release it, saying to yourself, "May I be filled with loving kindness. May I be safe, may I be healthy, may I peaceful and serene. May I be happy." 
  • Then take another deep breath and release it as you think of this person and say, "May you be filled with loving kindness, may you be safe, may you be healthy, may you be peaceful and serene. May you be happy."
  • Finally, take another deep breath and as you release it, say to yourself, "May all beings be filled with loving kindness. May all be safe. May all be well. May all be peaceful and serene. May all be happy."

 

I wish you joy in the process.

Be the first to comment

Cultivating Community

The Tao Te Ching tells us:

 

To follow the Tao

Is to dwell in peace

Living in a community of heart,

Regarding all that lives

As one family.

    (Tao, Chapter 49)

 

With all the division and discord in our world lately, this message from the Tao is more relevant than ever. For regardless of our western belief in individualism, we do not live by ourselves alone. "Look around you," I ask people in my workshops. "How many people have touched your life today?" The food we eat, the clothes we wear, the shoes on our feet link us in a bond of interdependence with the forces of nature and people we may never meet. We participate not only in nature's living network but in a vast community of farmers, inventors, artists, engineers, construction workers, writers, production workers, teamsters, merchants, and more. No person, no country in the world is truly independent. We're all linked in an ongoing exchange of energies. Our interdependence is a fact. Recognizing that fact and strengthening our bonds can promote greater peace for us all.

 

To strengthen your own bonds of community, take some time to consider these questions.

  • Take a deep mindful breath, slowly releasing it. As you continue breathing slowly and mindfully, ask yourself:
  • Outside of my primary relationships, where do I find a sense of community, a feeling of belonging to a larger whole: in my neighborhood? at work? in my church, synagogue, or mosque? in a community group?Somewhere else?
  • What positive feelings does my community bring me?
  • What can I do to strengthen my community—or if I've recently moved or lost touch, what can I do to create greater community in my life?
  • What is one step I can take to build community this week? Anything from greeting a neighbor to calling up an old friend. Relationships, like plants, are living, growing things that need cultivation.

Finally, consider your natural community—the native plants and wildlife that share your world. What is one way you can strengthen your bond with the plants, birds, and animals around you—planting a garden, spending time with a pet, putting up a bird feeder, putting out nuts to feed the squirrels, or something else?

 

Visualize yourself taking one step to cultivate your human community and one step to cultivate your  natural community. Breathe in what this feels like to you. Now commit to taking these steps this week. 

 

Reference

 

An earlier version of this practice appeared in Dreher, D. (2000). The Tao of Inner Peace. New York, NY: Penguin Putnam.

 

 

Be the first to comment

When to Say Yes, When to Say No

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors on Pixabay

 

The Tao Te Ching tells us:

 

Be careful with commitments.

Do not begin something

You may not want to finish.

                    (Tao, Chapter 63)

 

How many of us fill our lives with conflict by saying yes to too many people, too many commitments? This energy draining habit can cause stress overload, rushing, tension, anxiety, and, ultimately, exhaustion. The Tao reminds us of an important lesson: to balance the alternating energies of yin and yang, self and other. To do this, we need to watch our timing: knowing when to say yes, when to say no.

 

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, I developed a habit of mindlessly reacting to others, putting their seemingly "urgent" demands before my own needs. But after answering family members' demands and interruptions, I had very little time and energy left for what was really important to me. This made it especially hard while I was in college. After classes, daily chores, and cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, I'd go to my room to study, only to be told that I had to go to bed at 10 o'clock. To live my own priorities, I finally got a job at the local newspaper to support myself and moved out on my own to gain more control over my studies and my life.  

 

But even though I packed up and moved out of my parents' house, I took the old reactive habit with me. In many a new context, with jobs, friends, and relationships, I felt I had to get others' demands "out of the way" before I could do what I really wanted. And at the end of the day, I was left with little time and energy for what mattered to me.

 

If this sounds familiar, then it's time to develop a new personal pattern. Instead of automatically agreeing to a commitment whenever you're asked, remember to follow the Tao:  to pause and take time to look within in order to avoid energy drains and honor your own priorities.

 

To do this, think of a commitment or invitation you've received lately. Take a few moments to pause, take a deep mindful breath and ask yourself these questions:

 

  • How do I feel about this commitment?
  • What does it mean to me?
  • Is it necessary?
  • Do I feel personally called to do it?
  • Do I really want to do it?
  • Do I have the time?

 

Your answers should reveal whether you're making a meaningful commitment or not. If so, embrace it with heart. If not, then why do it?  The Tao reminds us to say no to energy drains in order to say yes to our lives.

 

I wish you joy in the process.  

 

Reference

 

Some of this post appeared in an earlier version in

Dreher,D. (2000). The Tao of Inner Peace. New York, NY: Penguin Putnam.

 

 

Be the first to comment

Seeing Beyond Problems to Possibilities

In this new year, my wish for all of us is that we learn to see beyond current problems to discover new possibilities, new solutions to benefit us all. We can begin by looking for connections, by seeing the larger patterns, by recognizing the cycles of yin and yang that comprise our world. As the Tao Te Ching declared over 25 centuries ago:

 

The Tao person helps others

So no one is lost,

And uses things wisely

So nothing is wasted.

                   (Tao, Chapter 27)

 

Recently, the Covid-19 pandemic has shown how profoundly we are all connected. "We're all in this together," the saying goes. What affects one of us can affect all of us in our health care, supply chains, and communities.

 

Since we are all connected, research has shown that small acts of kindness can be healing for ourselves and those around us. With what psychologist Barbara Fredrickson (2013) calls "micro-moments of connectivity," we can connect not only with close friends and family but with the grocery store clerk or anyone else we encounter in daily life. A simple acknowledgement, eye contact, perhaps a kind word—that's all it takes. These connections benefit both people—to give is to receive. They can relieve stress, improve our health, raise our mood, and reduce inflammation to promote greater physical and emotional well-being. Research has also shown that these small acts of connection can create a positive ripple effect, spreading through entire communities.

 

Recognizing how everything is connected can help us find new solutions to the problems we face. The Tao teaches us that everything is part of a larger process in the cycles of life, that the byproducts of one thing can be valuable components of something else. By becoming more aware of these larger cycles, we can discover greater possibilities.

 

One of my favorite examples is the pneumatic pipeline system used in Swedish cities since 1969 to dispose of household trash. When many people were seeing trash as a problem to get rid of, the resourceful Swedes saw it as a possibility. In each unit of an apartment building they installed pneumatic tubes that carry the trash down to the cellar, where it is separated into waste and recyclable items. The waste is then burned in an incinerator, producing warm air which rises in another set of pipes to heat the building. As the Tao says, they "use things wisely so nothing is wasted."

 

In Taoist problem solving, the most important natural resource is our consciousness, our awareness of the natural cycles. By actively participating in these cycles, you can come up with new ideas, new insights. With this new awareness comes responsibility to take action and share your vision with others. And together, with our new visions of possibility, we can bring greater hope to our world.

 

Now it's your turn.

 

  • Take a few moments now to close your eyes and think of a current problem.
  • Focusing on your heart, take a deep, mindful breath and slowly release it.
  • Continue to breathe slowly and deeply as you visualize someone or something you appreciate.
  • Feel that sense of appreciation flow through your body.
  • Now ask yourself, "What is the larger cycle that includes this problem?" "How can this problem be part of a greater possibility?"
  • Then listen. The answer will come either now or later.
  • Smile as you slowly open your eyes.

 

References

 

Some of this material appeared in an earlier form in Dreher,D. (2000). The Tao of Inner Peace. New York, NY: Penguin Putnam.

 

Fredrickson, B. (2013). Love 2.0: How our supreme emotion affects everything we feel, think, do, and become. New York, NY: Hudson Street Press.

 

The closing meditation was inspired in part by the work of the HeartMath Institute. For more information about their research and programs, see https://www.heartmath.org/

 

Be the first to comment

Returning to Our Roots

The Tao Te Ching tells us

 

Let your roots go deep

Into the source.

With attitude build a firm foundation

Of peace in the Tao.

 

                     (Tao, Chapter 59)

 

Many conflicts occur when we're not living deeply enough. Dashing frantically from one commitment to another on the surface of life, we can lose touch with our deepest values.

 

I used to have conflicts between my work and my relationships. Over the years, people and situations changed but the painful pattern remained. The night before an exam, my college boyfriend would shout angrily, "You'd rather study than be with me." Years later, when I had papers to grade, another man in my life would complain, "You'd rather grade papers than be with me." Torn between competing polarities of love and work, I was not at peace with myself (Dreher, 2000).

 

Our lives are symphonies of many parts. Each day we have needs for food, sleep, exercise, love, work, inspiration, and renewal. It's not a question of either/or, discord and division. If we neglect any of our parts, we become imbalanced and unhealthy.

 

The Tao teaches that peace comes from transcending polarities with a vision of the larger whole. Beneath the surface differences, it is the One that includes us all. To live with the Tao as our guide means to reach beneath the surface to connect with our deeper reality.

 

These days, America is painfully polarized between two political factions: red and blue. We can get so carried away reacting to "the other side" that we forget the larger reality that connects us all. Yet as Abraham Lincoln reminded Americans in his first inaugural address:

 

"We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battle-field, and patriot grave, to every living heart and hearthstone, all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature" (Lincoln, 1861).

 

When we're anxious and confused, we can easily ignore those better angels. Falling into polarization, reducing our choices to two polarities, we can project our inner conflicts onto the world around us. Yet when we're at peace with ourselves, we can see more clearly, act more effectively, and create new patterns of peace within and around us.

 

Is there an area of conflict in your life—either personally or politically—that feels painfully polarized? Taking time for reflection may seem like self-indulgence when we're in the midst of crisis and conflict, yet it's one of the most responsible things we can do. The next time you find yourself in such a place, before doing anything, take time to reflect.

 

  • If possible, go off by yourself where you won't be disturbed
  • Take deep breath and release it.
  • Then, focusing on your heart, breathe a little slower and deeper than usual.
  • Ask yourself "Where is the larger reality in this?" "What is the Oneness that connects us?"
  • Listen for the answer, which may come right away or later as you go about your daily routine.

 

"Let your roots go deep

Into the source."

 

I wish you joy in the process.

 

 

References

 

Some of this material appeared in an earlier version in Dreher, D. (2000). The Tao of Inner Peace. New York, NY: Penguin Putnam.

 

Lincoln, A. (1861). First Inaugural Address https://ap.gilderlehrman.org/resources/president-lincoln%C3%A2%E2%82%AC%E2%84%A2s-first-inaugural-address-1861

 

Be the first to comment

Solving Problems with the Tao

The Tao Te Ching says that:

 

Wise people seek solutions.

The ignorant only cast blame.

 

Tao, Chapter 79

 

If we confront problems when we're not centered, we can become defensive, turning problems into blaming games.

 

When I was in graduate school, I worked for a year as a medical receptionist. One day while the office was filled with patients, workers were laying carpets in the examining rooms.

 

The phone rang incessantly, patients came and went, when suddenly I smelled smoke. The workers had gone to lunch, leaving a hot iron plugged in that was beginning to burn down into the floorboard. I went into the room, pulled the plug, set the iron upright, and returned to my desk.

 

Then the commotion began. The doctor smelled smoke and began shouting at the nurses, who shouted at the office administrative assistants. Their faces grew red, their voices strident and defensive. "Whose fault was it?" they shrieked. "Who should have checked the examining rooms?"

 

I wondered to myself, what difference does it make whose fault it was. The point was to solve the problem.

 

In far too many conflicts, both interpersonal and international, people become so busy blaming others and defending their egos that they forget to solve the problem, which in this case was as simple as pulling the plug.

 

The next time you face a problem,

  • Take a deep breath.
  • Center down to look beyond blaming and shaming.
  • Then follow the Tao to seek an effective solution, drawing upon the wisdom within and around you.

 

I wish you peace on the path.

 

Reference

 

An earlier version of this story appeared in

Dreher, D. (2000). The Tao of inner peace. New York, NY: Penguin Putnam, page 6.

Be the first to comment