Diane Dreher

 

A lot of us have been feeling stressed and disconnected these days. One reason we can feel this way is  that we're often not present with what we're doing. Research (Killingsworth & Gilbert, 2010) has found that for nearly 50% of the time most of us are doing one thing while thinking about something else. 

 

Unless we consciously focus our attention, a nonstop rush of thoughts drones on in our heads like the chatter on a talk radio station. Research reveals that a disconnected mind is a  stressed mind (Killingsworth & Gilbert, 2010). Even when we're listening to someone else, this inner dialogue will rehearse our answers or rush us into future planning.

 

As I explain in my new book, Pathways to Inner Peace,  beneath all the incessant planning is often fear--fear of helplessness, loneliness, and losing control (Dreher, 2025). This fear can put us into a stress state, compromising our ability to focus our attention, enjoy what we're doing, think creatively, and solve our problems more effectively (LeDoux, 1996).

 

Of course, we cannot control everything in life, including the weather, the news, and other people. We can only be present and ready to respond. Yet the more present we are, the more effective is our response.

 

What about you? Have you found yourself feeling distracted and disconnected lately? If so, I invite you to take a moment now to restore your sense of presence.

 

• First take a deep, mindful breath and slowly release it. Just pausing to take a deep breath can help you feel more calm, centered, and peaceful.
• Now recall a time in your life when you felt a deep sense of presence. Were you connecting with a friend? Meditating? Experiencing the wonder of nature? Playing a musical instrument? Singing  Or something else?
• Recall how you felt, continuing to breathe slowly and mindfully.
• Now feel yourself becoming more aware of where you are right now. Feel your body connect with the surface of the chair you're sitting on.
• Feel the rhythm of your heart beat, the energy flowing through your body.
• Now open your heart to greater presence and peace of mind as you go about this day.

And remember that whenever you can catch yourself thinking about one thing while doing something else, you can pause, take a deep mindful breath, and slowly release it to return to the present moment.

 

I wish you joy on the path.   

 

References

Dreher, D. (2025). Pathways to Inner Peace. Hollister, CA: MSI Press.

LeDoux, J. (1996). The Emotional Brain. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.

Killingsworth, M.A., & Gilbert, D. (2010,12 November). A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Science, 330, 932.

There's  so much political polarization these days. With massive cuts in government programs, economic challenges, scapegoating  immigrants, and demonizing the opposition, too many people have been blaming those with different views, seeing them as enemies. This is no way to build a healthy community.

 

Research has found that having approach goals, striving for what we want, promotes personal well-being while avoidance goals, striving to avoid what we don't want, is associated with anxiety and distress (Emmons, 2003). In our personal, professional, and public lives, having positive approach goals builds greater hope. Psychologist C.R. Snyder discovered that hope involves goals, pathways, and agency—having a positive goal we believe in, pathways or steps toward that goal, and agency, the energy and motivation to reach it (Snyder, 1994).

 

In my own life, when I experienced disconnection and anxiety from recent challenges, including the Covid, pandemic, career transitions, and political uncertainty, I chose an approach goal: developing a greater sense of connection. My search led me to discover nine powerful pathways to greater connection and peace of mind, practiced through centuries of spiritual tradition and supported by the latest scientific research. I've described them in my new book, Pathways to Inner Peace, discovering greater joy and connection in the process.

 

What about you? Has something been troubling you in any area of your life? If so, I invite you to join me in this hope practice based on research I did with my friend and colleague Dave Feldman (Feldman & Dreher, 2012).

      

• First, ask yourself what's been troubling you in any area of your life—from the personal to the political.
• Take a slow, deep breath and release it, as you ask yourself "What is the opposite of this?" "How would I like it to be?" This is your goal. Now write it down.
• Now ask yourself, "What is one small step  I could take toward this goal?" Write it down.
• Then ask yourself what might get in the way, a roadblock for this step. Write down this roadblock beneath the step.
• Next, think of an alternate step you could take if you encounter this roadblock and write it down beneath the roadblock.
• Do this for two more steps--think of a step, a roadblock, and an alternate step and write them down.
• Now take a few moments to close your eyes and imagine yourself taking each step, confronting each roadblock and taking each alternate step, feeling positive momentum as you move toward your goal.
• Then see feel yourself achieving your goal. Breathe in as you feel yourself doing this. Then slowly breathe out, feeling greater hope and a new sense of possibility.

When you are ready, gently open your eyes and prepare to take your first step.

 

I wish you joy on the path.

 

References

Dreher, D. (2025). Pathways to inner peace. Hollister, CA: MSI Press.

 

Emmons, R. (2003). Personal goals, life meaning, and virtue: Wellsprings of a positive life. In C. L. M. Keyes & J. Haidt (Eds.) Flourishing (pp. 105-128). Washington, D.C.: American Psychological Society.

 

Feldman, D. B. and Dreher, D. E. (2012). Can hope be changed in 90 minutes? Testing the efficacy of a single-session goal-pursuit intervention for college students.  Journal of Happiness Studies, 13, 745-759, DOI: 10.1007/s10902-011-9292-4.

 

Snyder, C. R. (1994). The psychology of hope. New York, NY: The Free Press.