Have you been missing a sense of community? If so, you're not alone. Our former US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy warned of an epidemic of loneliness and isolation in this country (2023). Today, many of us spend more time connecting to our electronic devices than to the people in our lives. And the years of isolation during the Covid-19 pandemic further eroded our personal connections, leading to the alienation, polarization and political discord around us.
Yet we need community. Connecting with the people around us brings us a sense of home, belonging and trust in our world. A recent report by the Harvard Study of Adult Development found that strong relationships keep us healthier and happier, enabling us to live longer, more fulfilling lives (Waldinger & Schulz, 2023). And becoming part of a supportive community brings us shared resources, collective wisdom and a heartfelt sense of connection.
I learned about this years ago while traveling by train through Italy. It was getting late when the people in my compartment discovered that the dining car hadn't been connected at the last station, which meant we'd go without dinner. But then, the German woman and her daughter sitting across from me offered to share their cheese and fruit. The Polish woman beside me produced salami and a jar of sparkling strawberry jam. I brought out a loaf of bread. And a young French student shared his bottle of wine. Together, we created a picnic dinner. Sharing food and stories, that night we became a community. In all my travels, I don't remember a single meal I'd eaten in a dining car, but I still recall the joy when five strangers shared an evening meal together.
What about you? Can you recall a time when you felt a deep, joyous sense of connection and community? It could have been recently or years ago. Just recall it now. What were you doing? Who were you with? And how did you feel? Take a moment to feel this sense of connection right now.
If you'd like to bring more of this joy of connection into your life, you can begin rebuilding community by reaching out with one small action at a time. You could reconnect with a loved one or close friend, join a group in your community, church or synagogue, or volunteer for a cause you believe in.
You could also begin practicing what psychologist Barbara Fredrickson (2013) calls "micromoments of connectivity," waving at a neighbor driving by, exchanging a kind word to a colleague or the grocery store clerk. These small actions benefit both the giver and receiver, raising our mood, relieving stress and reducing inflammation. And they can create a positive ripple effect, building a stronger community all around us.
This holiday season, you can bring more of the joy of connection and community into your life and our world, one small act at a time.
I wish you joy on the path.
References
Fredrickson, B. L. (2013). Love 2.0: How our supreme emotion affects everything we feel, think, do, and become. New York, NY: Hudson Street Press.
Murthy, V. H. (2023). Our epidemic of loneliness and isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General's advisory on the healing effects of social connection and community. https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf
Waldinger, R., & Schulz, M. (2023). The good life: Lessons from the world's longest scientific study of happiness. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.
Photo: Joe DeSousa (2015). Cheese, wine and bread in Cafe Vavin, 18 Rue Vavin, 75006 Paris.
Creative Commons Wikimedia Commons. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Cheese,_wine_and_bread_in_a_sidewalk_cafe_in_Paris,_June_2015.jpg
