Diane Dreher

A lot of us have been feeling stressed and disconnected these days. One reason we can feel this way is  that we're often not present with what we're doing. Research (Killingsworth & Gilbert, 2010) has found that for nearly 50% of the time most of us are doing one thing while thinking about something else. 

Unless we consciously focus our attention, a nonstop rush of thoughts drones on in our heads like the chatter on a talk radio station. Research reveals that a disconnected mind is a  stressed mind (Killingsworth & Gilbert, 2010). Even when we're listening to someone else, this inner dialogue will rehearse our answers or rush us into future planning.

As I explain in my new book, Pathways to Inner Peace,  beneath all the incessant planning is often fear--fear of helplessness, loneliness, and losing control (Dreher, 2025). This fear can put us into a stress state, compromising our ability to focus our attention, enjoy what we're doing, think creatively, and solve our problems more effectively (LeDoux, 1996).

Of course, we cannot control everything in life, including the weather, the news, and other people. We can only be present and ready to respond. Yet the more present we are, the more effective is our response.

What about you? Have you found yourself feeling distracted and disconnected lately? If so, I invite you to take a moment now to restore your sense of presence.

• First take a deep, mindful breath and slowly release it. Just pausing to take a deep breath can help you feel more calm, centered, and peaceful.
• Now recall a time in your life when you felt a deep sense of presence. Were you connecting with a friend? Meditating? Experiencing the wonder of nature? Playing a musical instrument? Singing  Or something else?
• Recall how you felt, continuing to breathe slowly and mindfully.
• Now feel yourself becoming more aware of where you are right now. Feel your body connect with the surface of the chair you're sitting on.
• Feel the rhythm of your heart beat, the energy flowing through your body.
• Now open your heart to greater presence and peace of mind as you go about this day.

And remember that whenever you can catch yourself thinking about one thing while doing something else, you can pause, take a deep mindful breath, and slowly release it to return to the present moment.

I wish you joy on the path.   

References

Dreher, D. (2025). Pathways to Inner Peace. Hollister, CA: MSI Press.

LeDoux, J. (1996). The Emotional Brain. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.

Killingsworth, M.A., & Gilbert, D. (2010,12 November). A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Science, 330, 932.

There's  so much political polarization these days. With massive cuts in government programs, economic challenges, scapegoating  immigrants, and demonizing the opposition, too many people have been blaming those with different views, seeing them as enemies. This is no way to build a healthy community.

Research has found that having approach goals, striving for what we want, promotes personal well-being while avoidance goals, striving to avoid what we don't want, is associated with anxiety and distress (Emmons, 2003). In our personal, professional, and public lives, having positive approach goals builds greater hope. Psychologist C.R. Snyder discovered that hope involves goals, pathways, and agency—having a positive goal we believe in, pathways or steps toward that goal, and agency, the energy and motivation to reach it (Snyder, 1994).

In my own life, when I experienced disconnection and anxiety from recent challenges, including the Covid, pandemic, career transitions, and political uncertainty, I chose an approach goal: developing a greater sense of connection. My search led me to discover nine powerful pathways to greater connection and peace of mind, practiced through centuries of spiritual tradition and supported by the latest scientific research. I've described them in my new book, Pathways to Inner Peace, discovering greater joy and connection in the process.

What about you? Has something been troubling you in any area of your life? If so, I invite you to join me in this hope practice based on research I did with my friend and colleague Dave Feldman (Feldman & Dreher, 2012).

• First, ask yourself what's been troubling you in any area of your life—from the personal to the political.
• Take a slow, deep breath and release it, as you ask yourself "What is the opposite of this?" "How would I like it to be?" This is your goal. Now write it down.
• Now ask yourself, "What is one small step  I could take toward this goal?" Write it down.
• Then ask yourself what might get in the way, a roadblock for this step. Write down this roadblock beneath the step.
• Next, think of an alternate step you could take if you encounter this roadblock and write it down beneath the roadblock.
• Do this for two more steps--think of a step, a roadblock, and an alternate step and write them down.
• Now take a few moments to close your eyes and imagine yourself taking each step, confronting each roadblock and taking each alternate step, feeling positive momentum as you move toward your goal.
• Then see feel yourself achieving your goal. Breathe in as you feel yourself doing this. Then slowly breathe out, feeling greater hope and a new sense of possibility.

When you are ready, gently open your eyes and prepare to take your first step.

I wish you joy on the path.

References

Dreher, D. (2025). Pathways to inner peace. Hollister, CA: MSI Press.

Emmons, R. (2003). Personal goals, life meaning, and virtue: Wellsprings of a positive life. In C. L. M. Keyes & J. Haidt (Eds.) Flourishing (pp. 105-128). Washington, D.C.: American Psychological Society.

Feldman, D. B. and Dreher, D. E. (2012). Can hope be changed in 90 minutes? Testing the efficacy of a single-session goal-pursuit intervention for college students.  Journal of Happiness Studies, 13, 745-759, DOI: 10.1007/s10902-011-9292-4.

Snyder, C. R. (1994). The psychology of hope. New York, NY: The Free Press.

In our challenging world today, the news and social media too often focus on our problems, and this can bring us constant worry, fear and anxiety, undermining our hope. 

Years ago, a wise woman called Peace Pilgrim said that "instead of stressing the bad things which I am against, I stress the good things which I am for. Those who choose the negative approach dwell on what is wrong, resorting to judgment and criticism" (1981, p. 26).

By focusing on what we don't want, we can become stuck in negativity. Reacting, condemning, attacking, we can be dragged into darkness, division, fear, anger, and resentment. This reaction can trap us in chronic stress, compromising our health and blocking our ability to think clearly.

By focusing on what we do want, we can move from being reactive to being creative, activating the power of hope. History shows this lesson well. In November, 1932, during the dark days of the Depression, Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected president. By the inauguration, 13 million people were out of work and almost every bank was closed. While former President Herbert Hoover had focused on the problems of the Depression, President Roosevelt focused on possibilities, proposing bold new solutions. In his first hundred days, he proposed, and Congress enacted, a sweeping program to being recovery to business and agriculture, relief to the unemployed and those in danger of losing their homes and farms. He established the Tennessee Valley Authority, the Works Progress Administration, the Civil Conservation Corps, and other innovative programs, renewing our nation's hope.

You too, can build your hope by looking beyond problems to focus on what you do want.

• First, take a long, deep breath and slowly release it, asking yourself what's been troubling you in any area of your life—from the personal to the political.
• Take another slow, deep, breath to release any tension.
• Then ask yourself "What is the opposite of this?" "How would I like it to be?" Then visualize what it would look like and feel like.
• Breathe in that vision of possibility, feeling a new sense of joy and possibility as you slowly breathe out.
• Then  ask yourself, "What is one small step I could take to move toward this new possibility?" Is there someone you could talk to? Somewhere you could find out more information? Some small action you could take?

When you are ready, prepare to take this first step, moving forward with a new sense of hope.

I wish you joy on the path.

____________________________

Reference

Peace Pilgrim. (1981). Steps Toward Inner Peace. Shelton, CT: Friends of Peace Pilgrim. For more information on Peace Pilgrim, see https://www.peacepilgrim.org/

The tall pine tree outside my window stands serene. Birds nestle in its boughs and sunlight sparkles through the raindrops on its branches. Just looking at it brings me a sense of peace. A few paces beyond, the world is anything but serene. Frantic drivers crowd the roadways, invasive ads urge us to buy the latest device, and negative news of political polarization, heartbreaking wars, and other disasters spews from the media.

In America today, over 48% of adults have suffered from anxiety disorders (Anxiety Checklist, 2025). More than 21 million adults a year are suffering from depression (NIMH, 2023). And in recent months, over 70% of  Americans have experienced stress from politics, the economy, and worries about the future (APA, 2024). For an overview of the rise in anxiety, depression, and stress throughout the world, see the Anxiety Checklist (2025).

The fact that life creates suffering--Buddhism's First Noble Truth--is only too evident today.

But it doesn't have to be. The world's great spiritual traditions remind us that we have a choice. We can mindlessly react to the commotion around us or choose to see things differently, to cultivate greater peace of mind. What brings you peace of mind? Is it:

• Getting or giving?
• Reacting or creating?
• Doing or being?

When you see the difference, what does this mean to you? 

Do you have your own ritual that brings you back to peace? Is it:

• Beginning the day with regular contemplative practice?
• Quiet moments of prayer and spiritual reading?
• Pausing to reflect on the beauty of nature?
• Giving yourself space to breathe amid a busy day?
• Spending a few moments at the end of the day to reflect on three things you're grateful for (Emmons, 2007)?

Today you can choose your own daily ritual of peace, which can make a positive difference not only in your life but in our world. For the peace you cultivate is not just for you. It ripples out to touch all the people you meet for we are all intrinsically connected. Each day the small choices you make can begin to heal our beautiful, but troubled world.

I wish you—and all of us–greater peace in the days to come.

Diane

References

Anxiety Checklist University. (2025). The Anxiety Checklist. https://anxietychecklist.com/anxiety-statistics

American Psychological Association (APA). (2024). Stress in America 2024. https://www.apa.org/pubs/reports/stress-in-america/2024

Emmons, R. (2007). Thanks. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin.

National Institutes of Mental Health (NIMH).  (2023). Statistics on Depression. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/major-depression#part_2563

I believe that we live on two levels—as our separate self and as connected in an expansive sense of oneness.

Our separate self give each of us our name, personal history, individual identity, and accomplishments. But the separate self can also bring us insecurity, fear of inadequacy, anxiety, and worries about ourself, our appearance, our goals and achievements.

Beneath the layer of our separate self is our underlying unity, our oneness with all of life. We can sense this oneness in moments of awe and inspiration, in the beauty of nature, the power of love, in meditation,  community, and the arts, in times we are so connected to the present moment that we transcend our separation, drawn into a deep state of oneness.

Our former surgeon general, Dr. Vivek Murthy warned that we have an epidemic of loneliness and isolation which compromises our emotional and physical health (2023). For feelings of isolation can produce chronic stress, anxiety, and fear. Advertisers exploit the insecurity of our separate self so they can sell us their products as solutions. And authoritarian leaders seek to divide us from each other and control us with fear.

But we can transcend insecurity and isolation of our separate self by connecting with our essential oneness. We can find transcendence through the power of awe, the sense of inspiration and wonder when we connect with something larger than ourselves. Where do you find this connection?

I invite you to join me now to focus on what connects you.

Recall a time when you felt an expansive sense of connection and oneness with something beyond your separate self—a sense of joy and inspiration.

• Was it experiencing the beauty of nature? Looking up at a tall tree or a radiant sunset?
• Sharing time with a loved one?
• Experiencing a work of art—music, drama, poetry, or the visual arts? Participating in the process of creativity as you became one with the present moment? Or was it something else?

Breathe into that experience now.

Feel the embrace of that expansive, inspiring, and energizing experience of oneness.

In the days ahead, make it a point to connect with the sense of oneness. Take time to experience what inspires you. Make this a regular part of your life, a new habit to bring greater light to your life for your own good and the good of us all.

For experiencing this deeper sense of connection will empower you to take positive action to bring more connection, harmony, and peace to our world.

I wish you joy on the path.

Reference

Murthy, V. H. (2023). Our epidemic of loneliness and isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General's advisory on the healing effects of social connection and community. https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf

Lately, many of us have been living in fear. Current political news can make us feel afraid that we are not safe. Some of my friends say they're afraid to speak up, to disagree, to act on their beliefs for fear of what could happen to them. But while there are disruptive forces out there, surrendering to fear is not the answer.

As Franklin Delano Roosevelt said in his First Inaugural Address during the dark days of the Depression: "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance" (1933).

In today's challenging times, it is up to each of us to find ways to transform the reductive reaction of fear into the possibility for positive action. For we cannot act wisely when reacting from fear, which plunges us into fight, flight, or freeze—three reactions that reduce our actions to defensiveness, retreat, or passivity.

How do we transform the energy of fear? The Bible tells us that "perfect love casts out fear" (1 John, 4:18). Recent research in positive psychology has found how we can transcend fear with the power of awe, the sense of inspiration and wonder when we connect with something larger than ourselves (Keltner, 2024).

I invite you to join me now in a brief reflection to experience the power of awe.

• Take a deep mindful breath and slowly release it. Then recall a time when you felt a sense of awe, an expansive connection and oneness with something beyond your ego—a sense of joy and inspiration.
• Was it experiencing the beauty of nature—perhaps walking in the woods, seeing a radiant sunset, or gazing at the stars overhead?
• Was it appreciating a work of art—music, drama, poetry, or the visual arts?
• Was it sharing time with a loved one?
• Feeling flow, as you participated in the process of creativity?
• Or something else?

Breathe into that experience now, feeling it in the present moment, expansive, inspiring, and energizing.

In the days ahead, make it a point to restore your inner balance by connecting with awe on a regular basis. Reach out to connect with whatever brings you that joyous, expansive feeling of awe.

Experiencing awe will dispel the fear reaction, bring more light to your life, and enable you to take positive action to bring more light to the world.

I wish you joy on the path.

References

Keltner, D. (2024). Awe: The new science of everyday wonder and how it can transform your life. New York, NY: Penguin Random House.

Roosevelt, F. D. (1933, March 4). First Inaugural Address. https://avalon.law.yale.edu/20th_century/froos1.asp

Each night I look up at the stars outside my window. Sometimes I see moving stars, airplanes flying overhead, the miracle of flight as they rise above the earth.

These days, many of us are feeling dragged down in spirit. The endless storms of information, ads, disinformation, and distressing news can trigger our fear, anxiety, worries, and what Shakespeare called "the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to."  But we can take heart from the miracle of flight.

My father, Colonel Frank Dreher, a pioneer in aviation, has always inspired me. Following his example, I took flying lessons. I was amazed to find that when I drove a Cessna 150 down the runway at 55 miles per hour, it would take off, developing lift from the wind beneath my wings.

Like in the poem, "High Flight," by John Gillespie Magee, I'd "slip the surly bonds of earth" to fly high into the bright blue sky.

Now it's your turn to fly. Looking at your own life, what is it that lifts you above the downward drag of worry and anxiety?

What is it that gives you wings?

Think back to a time when you felt your spirit rise above "the surly bonds of earth." When did you feel your heart filled with joy, wonder, and a sense of grace? Recall that time now in your imagination.

• Where were you?
• What were you doing?
• What brought you this lift?
• Was it connecting with nature? Music? A loved one? A moment of unexpected beauty and grace?

Take a deep breath and connect with that feeling now. Know that you have the power to rise above the stresses of mundane reality to feel greater joy, hope, and renewal.

When you are ready, smile and look around you, discovering new opportunities to find your wings and fly.

I wish you joy in the process.

Unlike countries like France, Germany, England, and Spain, America was not founded on regional boundaries or nationalities but on a dream of "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." And unless your ancestors were Native Americans or brought here as slaves, they came here as immigrants in search of that dream.

At the base of the Statue of Liberty, the poetic words of the writer Emma Lazarus proclaim:

                 "Give me your tired, your poor

                  Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. . . .

                  Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.

                  I lift my lamp beside the golden door."

As we begin this new year, despite the darkness and divisions of our times, we can each re-connect with that dream that endures as a shining light to guide us in the days ahead.

And you can pause to ask yourself, "What is the dream of freedom that can light my life today?

If you have a few moments now to connect with your dream, you can join me in this brief meditation.

• First close your eyes or shift them into a gentle downward gaze.
• Then breathe in, focusing on your heart and slowly breathe out. You can put your hand on your heart if you wish.
• Again, slowly breathe in and slowly breathe out.
• Breathing in, breathing out, feeling your shoulders relax, your mind becoming more peaceful.
• As you continue this slow heart-focused breathing, visualize the Statue of Liberty and ask yourself, "What dream of freedom is calling to me now?" 
• Take your time to listen, breathing into your heart, feeling a joyous connection to the greater oneness of life.
• The answer will come, now or later as a gentle message from your heart.
• When you're ready, gently open your eyes and return to the present moment.

I wish you joy in taking the first step in the direction of your dream.

Reference

Statue of Liberty photo. (2009, November 7). Dominique James. https://www.flickr.com/photos/dominiquejames/4621961395/ Creative Commons Attribution. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Statue_of_Liberty_-_4621961395.jpg

During the dark days of winter, many of us are feeling anxious and concerned about our future and our world. Yet in these times of darkness, political polarization, and uncertainty, we can still find ways to connect with the light and bring greater hope to our lives.

Years ago, in my college French class, I learned about Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, who wrote Le Petit Prince (The Little Prince). Saint-Exupéry was a pilot. He wrote about how, when flying at night, he'd look up at the stars and then down at the lights of people in their homes below. He called the lights below him "les étoiles vivantes, living stars. Stars above and stars below. Each person was a living star. This inspiring image has stayed with me ever since.  

Today, these étoiles vivantes, these living stars,  are the people around us—our loved ones, friends, and neighbors. And when we connect, we can see the light in their eyes and they can see ours.

Many traditions remind us to connect with the light beyond the darkness. During the winter holidays, Catholics light Advent candles for the four weeks before Christmas. My Jewish friends light the candles of the menorah to celebrate the eight days of Hanukkah, and my African American neighbors light red, black, and green candles in late December in the cultural celebration of Kwanzaa.

Now, instead of surrendering to the darkness or rushing through our daily tasks, we can pause to look more deeply and discover new ways to connect with the light. We can experience:  

• The light of appreciation for the moments of beauty in the world around us.
• The light of gratitude, when we pause to give thanks for the daily blessings in our lives.
• The light of compassion, when we connect with each other with greater kindness and understanding.
• The light of self-compassion, when we extend this kindness to ourselves.
• The light of inspiration that can guide us on our path.
• And the light of awe and wonder as we look up at the stars.

This year, more than ever, when we face the darkness and distress of political conflict, polarization, and uncertainty, I invite you to connect more often with the light within and around you. For by connecting, we can increase the light to bring greater hope to our lives and our world.

_________________

Reference

Photograph: (2013). Michael J. Bennett. A starry night sky with a tree silhouette in the left corner. Wikimedia Creative Commons Attribution. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Night_Sky_Stars_Trees_02.jpg

We live in a painfully polarized country and divided world. Each day, our minds are divided by an avalanche of news of political unrest and natural disasters along with nonstop social media. I'm convinced that our divided attention has led to personal imbalance, insecurity, and anxiety, resulting in increased fear, defensiveness, and political polarization.

We can begin healing our external imbalance by first healing our divided minds, for research has shown that a divided mind is an insecure, imbalanced mind, subject to chronic stress.[1] In this stressful state, we cannot think clearly, listen to the people around us, or listen to our own inner wisdom. We cannot solve our problems effectively and build bridges of greater understanding in our world.

We can start healing our divided minds by practicing what meditation teacher Eknath Easwaran has called "one-pointed attention," focusing on one thing at a time in the present moment. [2]

This means really listening, focusing on the person who's talking to you, focusing on the vegetables you're slicing for dinner, and when you're out on the road, focusing on your driving—all without

worrying, planning, or multitasking. Just being present.

Whatever you've been doing, you can practice one-pointed attention by taking a slow, deep, mindful breath and slowly releasing it, focusing on being present right here and right now.

For the rest of the day, I encourage you to practice one-pointed attention—when you're walking, working, listening to someone, preparing a meal, or something else. Whenever you catch your mind wandering, multitasking, worrying, or planning, take a slow, deep breath, and slowly breathe out to return to the here and now.

Perhaps a reminder will help you remember to practice. Some of my clients wear a rubber band on their wrists, my friend Juan wears a Buddhist mala bracelet, and I wear a bracelet of clear beads to remind me to be more present.

Enjoy this simple practice and I wish you greater peace on the path.

References
[1] Killingsworth, M.A., & Gilbert, D. (2010,12 November). A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Science, 330, 932.

 
[2] For a discussion of one-pointed attention, see Easwaran, E. (2008). Passage Meditation. Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press.